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Saturday, December 6, 2014

societygrl Confessions No 2

Comparison is the thief of joy.. right?

I can't go a day without comparing myself to someone or wanting to be someone else.

Am I pretty enough? Skinny? Succesful? 

Omg that girl has the newest Chanel or Christopher Kane dress. She's doing what? She's wearing how many Cartier bracelets? Why can't I have a tummy like Kate? 

Why can't I have Olivia Palermo's life? Why aren't my eyebrows like Cara's? Why can't I have arms like Nicole Richie? Should I dye my hair purple? Why can't I just sit front row? Oh, she goes to Harvard? She's going to law school? Am I too insane?

I can probably write 1000 more of those questions. Yet, sadly, all those little questions minuscule all my OWN accomplishments. It's almost as if I'm inflicting self-torture. Why? Every single person above has different advantages in life and I know I can never be them, but they do take away my joy. I'm so tired of it. 

I'm tired of pushing away my own successes because the next day someone older and more successful than me gets my dream project or the really expensive pair of shoes that I want. 

At the end of the day, I wasn't born with his or her life. I need to make my own path, I'M ONLY 20. I need to love and embrace what I have personally achieved. 

A year ago going to Fashion Week (even one show) would have been enough for me for the rest of my life. Now, it's like I'm so used to it that I just need MORE. More shoes, more jobs, more followers, more handbags, more Chanel. It's just never enough. 

And that's the scary thing.