Saturday, August 16, 2014

Sunday Confessions

Why am I not a cat? Being a cat would be awesome. Being cute as f*** while you get to sleep, eat and play with a string. You know, it's hard to hate a kitty cat, too. 
This week was one of the hardest trials I've had in life. Accepting what I cannot change.

I choose to share my life with almost 60,000 people on a daily basis. I don't know owe anyone anything. I don't force anyone to watch my life but for some reason I always get my fair share of "haters". I hate calling them haters, it's more like who are you? I consider my time to be precious and don't even have the luxury of waisting time on people I dislike. 

My biggest trial is London Fashion Week. Last year I set a goal for myself - attending London Fashion Week. I was going to do anything it takes. Attending an international fashion week is uncommon for first year bloggers, typically for those who started their blog FROM their Twitter while being anonymous. I read somewhere that fashion and movies are the two forms of art that do not show the amount of work put in into the creation. So, while you may see photos and blog posts it's hours of my time and money.

I don't know if you ever have wanted something so badly that you daydream about it at night. I don't know if you've ever felt the pain of something you truly wanted taken away from you. All I can do is describe how I felt this past week. Last Friday, I flew down to San Fran to figure out my Ukrainian passport because I did not realize it expired. Turns out with the Ukrainian crisis the embassy no longer makes passports and creating my Ukrainian passport would take more than 4 months. This is all because I am still in the process of applying for US citizenship. I have only lived in the United States for 8 years. 

My work has gone to waste along with the money already spent on tickets, outfits, and my condo for my 6 day stay. I can't even board the airplane to London. All week I've felt broken because it's just unfair. I get my dream taken away from me because of a stupid technicality. Naturally, I have been trying to ignore my bitterness and anger by shopping. 

It's been a week. After days of crying and moping around like a wet mop, I realize that I need to get my shit together and suck it up. I am only 20 years old. Yes, missing LFW this season is upsetting but thankfully rich men want to get richer so I can attend the A/W fashion week in February 2015. Until then, I need to keep working hard and aim for other opportunities that are available. These next few months gives me more time to grow and learn. Who knows, maybe it wasn't my time to be in London yet? Everything happens for a reason.